Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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