I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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