with your own penis?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
