Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
