there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
