Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
