Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
