Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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