Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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