here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
