the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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