took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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