He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No subtext here. People are naked.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
