I only kidnapped one of them. chill
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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