Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
