I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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