let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
