I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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