y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
