Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can't turn off my feet"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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