My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your cock deserves a montage
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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