it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
