I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
