just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
