Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Randomize
