is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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