so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
