I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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