The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
