her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
