The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
