I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
