i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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