the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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