That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
