I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize