In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
4 words: hood of his car
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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