3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
