what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize