Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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