I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
