I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
