I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
