I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's official drugs can't kill me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Randomize
