I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
