The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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