My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
