How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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