how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
