yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
