this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
