btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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