did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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