I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
