Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
