I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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