On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
tell me about the fingering
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