Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
