You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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