It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
