Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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