Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
