Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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