Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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