I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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