So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
