Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
