he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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