He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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