Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
