so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
